Friday, June 15, 2012

Mai Eyzzz

So here's the deal... I abuse the shit out of my contacts. I know, it's bad for my eyes, and I do intend to knock that off soon. But I found myself in a situation... I was down to my last pair of contacts, and I know from past experience that if I go take an eye exam now, my usual doc will notice the irritation in my eyes and scold me.

And he's a great doc. I like him. So instead of pissing him off, I decided to try the underground contacts market and see if I could get some without a prescription. I heard many overseas will do so. In fact, I read while it is illegal for an organization to sell contacts in the US without a prescription, it's NOT illegal for you to buy some without a prescription. And shopping from a foreign country is as simple as a few mouse clicks....thank you Internet. I fucking love you!

Hell, I heard several people say even domestic companies like 1800 Contacts will try to phone your doc, but if they cant get a hold of them, they will often just send the order out anyway. So I set out to try just that.

I set up a fake phone number with Google Voice, and added a fake incoming voicemail greeting, so it sounds like a vision center. But obviously, instead of asking the caller to please hold, I said "we are currently busy assisting other patients. Please call back later during normal business hours."

1800Contacts called it and left several messages, and after not hearing back from my "doctor" they finally just cancelled the order. I tried this routine with a few other places with the same result.

Then I tried it with Coastal. They called the number as well, requesting Rx info. And of course I made no effort to answer them. The next day I get an email saying the contacts were shipped out. Yay!

And furthermore, they arrived the day after that. Literally I have them now, 2 days after placing the order. I found this odd and surprising, considering most of the negative reviews about coastal involved molasses-slow shipping. Well not for me. I'm a happy camper.

However, I will say the downside is they didnt have all the usual options available when ordering. I could choose the power and base curve of my contacts, but not the axis or cylinder. Oh well, close enough. I just want something to tide my eyes over till they are refreshed and clearer, so the next time I see my doc, he wont be pissy with me.

Take that, system.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Jesus fuck! I'm so tired of women who put their stupid babies as their profile picture on Facebook. Yeah, we get it.. you like your fucking baby. Way to sacrifice all your individuality over it, though. Are you no longer you anymore? Are you simply an extension of your offspring? Is your purpose in life over now?

And a lot of people find old connections, high school friends, etc, via Facebook due to the fact that you can search for someone by name. But it's a little hard to confirm you're the old friend someone is looking for when all they see is a dumb baby instead of you.

And look at this chick's page. Really? Do we need that many pictures of your baby? I get the whole "dont want a miss a moment" thing, taking tons of pictures. But people don't realize if the pictures aren't THEIR loved ones or THEIR memories, then we don't give a fuck about seeing them over and over and over. Ok, I saw a picture of your baby. Wonderful. I dont need to see the baby again turned 1/8th of an inch to the right. To me, it's the same fucking picture! You want to take 24 photos of your baby a second? Great. Do it, and stuff them in a shoebox. Don't annoy everyone else with them.

tl;dr - Have some fucking individuality!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Fucking retards.... literally!

For the 2nd time in my life, I met a retarded woman that I would actually have sex with. And the alcohol coursing through my veins is helping me not even give a fuck that I just said that.

First off, she had a normal looking head. That's worth pointing out, because most retards have a head/face that is blatantly obvious they are one of God's mistakes. But she didn't have that. If you saw her on the street, you wouldn't even detect that she's retarded. Secondly, she wasn't grossly fat. Most retards are also obese, but she wasn't so much. A little chubby, but in is this 67%-of-Americans-are-obese-world, who isn't?

And just think of how it would be to bone a tard.... they wouldn't want to talk afterwards like normal chicks. They would just leave you the fuck alone and go back to their toys or TV or something.... probably with your jizz still dripping off their face.

Also, they have the adult time frame of life experience, which probably includes years of pent up desire. You know what I mean? They still have that curiosity like a teenage girl, just in an adult body. If they saw a guy jerking off in the park, they would probably grin and watch him finish, instead of calling the cops. They would probably do whatever you tell them to do. She was sooo fucking happy to serve me ice cream. Just think how happy she'd be to suck my cock after so many years of wondering about what boys have between their legs. She'd be my "special" sex slave.

Which brings me to my next point. How exactly does one go about initiating a mission to fuck a retard. I can't imagine most have a cellphone or email address. And the constant hovering of their almost-always-female-motherly caretaker/authority-figure would never allow me to to try to advance anyway. So how does one fuck a bangable retard chick anyway? Maybe I should start a dating website for that.... single tard chicks and the freaky guys that want to bang them. Just need a domain name...

Yes, I'm a demented asshole to my core, in case you still had any doubt.

Friday, June 17, 2011

iTunes sucks ass.

It's well known iTunes adds a lot of services and crap on your PC. As an avid gamer, I want as little as possible running in the background to help my games' performance. I dont want iTunes swamping up my PC.

Second, the notion of being able to add / access files from only one or a few PC's is  idiotic. It's not going to stop piracy. Even with my no-name-brand mp3 player, I dont take it over to my friend's place and swap a bunch of mp3s. People are still going to download the music illegally and then just transfer to it their ipod via iTunes. Disallowing access to the ipod from any PC wont stop the problem in the's just a huge inconvenience.

I'm at work right now and just downloaded a podcast that I'd really love to put on my ipod and listen to when i go for a walk at lunch time. But thats right... I cant because I have no way of getting it on my ipod while Im here at work. This was a shitty decision by Apple imo.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Hey now...oh wait.

I swear I think advertisers are doing this intentionally. I see banner ads on the web all the time that catch my attention because from the corner of your eye, they look like something dirty, so you look. Advertisers know sex sells, so I think this is 100% purposeful. Look at the Adobe ad below just with your peripheral vision and tell me it doesn't look like a set of boobs with a low cut top. I'm on to you, advertisers!

Friday, February 11, 2011

A recent study has shown that compared to a similar study conducted 12 years ago, America's youth is suffering strokes at an alarming increase: in the age group 5-14, strokes increased 31% in males and 36% in females.

Lose some goddam weight, fatties!

Monday, February 7, 2011


After digging around on the web, I finally found out how to reconnect this wireless Logitech MX Revolution mouse with its receiver. It doesn't have a reset/connect button on it, so instead this is what you have to do:

- Turn on mouse
- Hold left button down while turning off mouse
- Continue holding left while turning back on
- Continue holding left while clicking right exactly 5 times
- Release left

WTF? It has 7 buttons and 2 wheels, and they couldn't put a fucking connect button on it?? What were they thinking?

Friday, February 4, 2011

Review: Velocity Cruz Micro R101 Android-powered e-reader / tablet

So I bought this thing... here's their little commerical for it:

So what do I think about it? Well it's more than an e-reader but less than a tablet. Some weird area in betwen. But the price was right, so I'll keep it around.

1. Well, my first and biggest complaint is the screen. It even says in the user manual, that the screen uses the old resistive touch technology instead of the newer heat-sensitive touch technology you get with things like Droids, iPhones, iPad, etc. So you have to push much harder to get your touches to register. And that filmy touch-sensitive layer makes the screen a little more cloudy and not so crisp.

2. So far I haven't been able to get an SD card to work properly with it. It has a standard size SD card slot. I currently only have micro-SD cards with adapters to make them full size. But trying them all in the Cruz, it just keeps saying "Card blank or unrecognized format. Do you want to Format the card?" I dont know if this is because it's actually a micro-SD in an adapter, but I would think it shouldn't matter. But then, if I say Yes, format the card (hoping this will make it usable with the Cruz), it just does nothing and never formats the card.

This isn't a huge issue since it has 4 GB internal and books are small, but 4 GB wont last long if I want to put movies on there.

3. This is the biggest complaint of Cruz owners: They dont allow the device to access the Android app market. Instead they only give you limited access to the "Cruz Market" with only a handful of lame apps. So the only way you're going to put good apps on it is if your techie enough to figure how to download them through other means (piracy, underground sites, etc) and manually transfer them to the Cruz via cable or SD card. Even then, the apps weren't written for the Cruz specifically so sometimes they wont install properly. I've had hit-or-miss success with this.

4. The only movie format it will play is MPEG. If you download movies a lot, you know the most popular format theyre in is Divx. So you have to run your movies through a converter if you want to play them on the Cruz. I did have luck converting them using Total Video Converter 3.11 (search torrents) to convert Divx to mp4, which the Cruz will play. But with a full-length movie, this conversion process takes a long time. *angry face*

5. It only comes with one e-reader app, the Barnes & Noble one. If you want to read epubs, guess what? You'll have to load a different reader app. I had to try 3 before I got one that would properly read epubs. I'd recommend getting the apps: "FBReader" and "txtr"

6. There's other little annoyances that I'll glob together in this bullet-point. You can add the typical Android widgets to the desktop... one of these being an analog clock. But the clock is off by an hour... yet the system time at the top of the screen shows the proper time! Why does it have one clock wrong and one right? It's not like there's any options to set the time on the analog clock, it's supposed to get the time from the system. So why is it getting the wrong time, when the system has the right time? Whaterver.

Also if you just put the device in standby, I'm finding in about 5 minutes it turns itself back on! Just barely... you have to take it into a dark room to see that the screen is just barely back on, but it is. And it won't seem to turn back off on it's own. So when Im done using it I have to totally power it down instead of just letting it standby so it doesnt kill the battery. This is annoying because it takes a good minute or so to boot back up.

Some of the reader apps take a good 30 seconds to open a book. Once it's open, you're fine, but expect an initial wait.

There's no way to access the battery. When it gets older and doesn't hold its charge as well, I'd like to be able to replace it, but no such luck.. looks like they took the Apple approach here.

- Well, it's got Android. The OS is powerful and fast.

- Battery life does seem to be what they boast, at least while it's new. They claim a half-hour charge gets you 10 hours. So far, it's delivering. I read some other review where someone said they even made it play a looping movie till the battery died, and it did last about 10 hours. Nice!

- Speakers aren't bad. Loud enough for one to hear a movie comfortably. Has an earphone jack also.

- Being able to read in the dark is a plus for me.

For the buck, it's not bad. But if I had known about the cons listed here, I'd probably would not have gotten it. Instead I wouldve spent a little more for a device with a heat-touch screen and access to the app market for starters.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Ugh. People fucking annoy me. I know this is something that shouldn't get to me, but I'm just irked how people are sometimes.

So I bought this Android powered tablet the other day from TigerDirect, and they sent me a fucking refurbished model. I didnt see that anywhere on the item description page when I bought it, but moving on... they didn't even format it. It still had shit leftover from the previous owner, including some of her emails! Furthermore, it still had here email password saved into it, which was apparently still correct because it was actively downloading NEW mail for her. Normally, I would allow this to continue since I'm mischievous and this was like a free break-in into someone's email. But they were all just so boring! About crafts and chuch choir and dresses....blah blah blah. So I deleted the account. I googled the chick's email address and found she's part of this military-spouses club.

Then I got the wild idea of emailing her to tell her I had the tablet she once owed. I dont know, I would think it's cool if someone did that to me... kiud of like a message in a bottle, or ... you know, it's cool to see how an object travels and whose lives it comes in contact with. Whatever.

So I write her...
From: David
To: cindy
Subject: Hi

Hi there,

I'm David.. you don't know me, but apparently I just bought the Velocity Micro tablet you used to own. I just bought it from and it came with some of your emails still on it. Don't worry, nothing personal, and I already deleted them.

I'm quite sure I ordered a new one, not a refurbished one, so that's weird. I'm taking it up with tigerdirect now. I'm also surprised at them for not factory-resetting it to blank everything out. Usually tiger is a very good and reputable company. Anyway, can I ask what was wrong with it that you sent it back? And how did you like it overall?
I should have known better... knowing I was emailing a religious military wife. I got this reply later that night..
From: Way


The error of my wife's emails still being on the tablet is mine. I guess I did not wipe it correctly. It was purchased as a gift and recently returned to TigerDirect. I have usually had good results from TD, so I am just as surprised as you are that they did not do a factory reinstall.

The reason that it was returned was that it was not supported by the official Google Android Marketplace; making many of the apps she wanted to run unavailable. The system would not support the newer version of the Nook app, forcing me to find an older version through a list-serve that would run on the Velocity Micro. It seemed to be fast, but too limited. We returned it, bought her a Toshiba Netbook; and she is much happier.

I bought a MID Android tablet through a different company and I am much happier with it than she was with the Velocity. It runs all the official apps and is quite fast. Battery life is always an issue, but it lasted in airplane mode non-stop coast-to-coast last week so that is fine with me.

Thanks for deleting the emails and letting her know.

Yes, that's really his name lol. Anyway, what makes me scowl is I could almost just see how this went down at their churchy household on the military base...

"Honey, honey, I got an email... from a man, a stranger, honey, it's a man that's isnt my husband. You better come reply to this. God forbid I write back to another man, even though it's just a conversation about a dumb gadget."

I know, maybe she deferred to her husband because she isnt technical enough to explain it or something, but I just keep seeing the above scenario in my head instead. These people annoy me.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Think I'm going to turn this into just a personal blog. So if you're following me, I wouldn't blame ya for dropping me. Take it easy, it's been fun!

If you're sticking around, I hopefully will at least keep it interesting. I usually want to write about an elaborate prank or hack I did, or something absurd I experienced, etc. Should be an interesting little ride.

Ready? Lets blogging!
(obvious engrish pun)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Blockbuster video is filing bankruptcy

Blockbuster’s reorganization under Chapter 11 bankruptcy is much needed. It is hard to predict what they will do to fight off competitors such as Netflix and GameFly, which could the nail to their coffin. Blockbuster has been struggling for some time now evidenced by their current business model, vastly different than when they originally set out, which seems to include equally as many games and movies for sale as to rent or ice cream, chips, candy, and pop to round out your cinema-like home experience. Despite this, their stores continue to close. New ideas being tossed around but few are innovative and mostly seem to emulate their competitors. In Blockbuster’s maligned case, emulation might be their only option.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Toast printer. You know you want one!

If the medium is the message, I'm not exactly sure what you'll be conveying by custom-printing your toast. Time for breakfast, perhaps? In any case, the Zuse toaster allows you to burn custom images into your toast. While it could conceivably be used for, say, a pancake house to print their logo as a fun twist, I prefer to think about the possible communication uses. Text messaging is so early 2000's; I want to see toast messaging. Imagine being broken up with via toast. Or writing directions on a piece of toast, then eating said toast once you arrive at your destination. Perhaps an office where all the memos are printed on toast. It would make the workplace, dare I say, a more delicious place to be. Sound unrealistic? Well, they called Galileo a fool when he said the earth revolves around the sun, and look how that turned out

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Droid fucking DOES!

This is a Lego Mindstorms robot powered by an app written for Androind. The app is running on a  Motorola Droid, and communicates with the robot via bluetooth. The phone's camera is used as the "eye" of the robot. You won't see cell phones doing this a few years ago....

Friday, October 8, 2010

Watch This Man on Fire Leap Out of a Skyscraper. Guy has balls.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I'll just leave this here...

WAR! The early Nintendo vs Sega saga

The Great Hyperconcole Wars. Sega vs Nintendo? I always love this one. Remember "Genesis does what Nintendon't?" Nintendo does what Genesis did. You'll see what I mean. In the '80s, there were three worth mention - Atari, Sega, Nintendo. Atari quckly deflated after the great gaming crash of the early '80s, but still, there was Nintendo and Sega. The Master System boasted superior graphics (doubts? just download the emulators and see for yourself), two types of gaming hardware, and a sleek, black and red case. Nintendo boasted third party support, a snazzy automobile trunk-like apperatus for inserting your games, and that ever-satisfying sound of the cartrige being loaded, then pushed down into place. Both systems had a gun. But again, Nintendo had third party support, as well as that little Gyromite robot, and later such accutraments as the Power Glove, and the Power Pad. Nintendo had advertising, licensing, and power.... later super power. The Master System had a nice, sleek black and red case.

Hands down, Nintendo was going to win this battle, and Sega knew it. So, in the late '80s they began R&D for the first 16bit home console. While Sega sat back and waited, Nintendo grew in power, strength, and fanbase. Link, Mario, Samus and Megaman were looked on with as much love as Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, but ever present was the beast that was Sega, and in 1990 they struck. "Turbo Blast Processing" it was called, but it was only due to the 486 processor located within the heart of the NEW sleak, red and black case. Complete with a headphone jack and a volume slide knob, the Mega Drive was ready for action. Upon it's release in the states, Sega utilized what it had learned years ago during it's fight with Nintendo; Sega finally marketed this new console to the masses. The Genesis finally arrived. Not one to be outdone by Sega, God, or ayone in it's way, Nintendo had been working on a monster of it's own. Not that it mattered, really, I mean Sega was doing things that Nintendo..... not necessarilly couldn't, but WOULDN'T do. The packaged title with the Genesis featured a half-naked Greek man fighting the dead and demons, to ultmately (after about 8 minutes of gameplay) be rewarded with rescuing the princess who had a really big nose. We're talking Streissand. See? Sega was down with using ugly chicks... that shows real balls.

1991 rolls around with the Super Nintendo. Oddly enough, despite using such a stupid American name for the system, Nintendo also used the word Super in Japan. I'd have named it the "Shin Famicon", or Famicon no something. Yeah. What was realeased with the SNES is what made me buy the damned thing.... the single (in my opinion) greatest Super Mario title of all time. This was followed after a long wait by the (again, my opinion) greatest, and last TRUE Hyrule adventure, A Link to the Past. Now, most of the kids I knew had one or the other. Me? After a summer of working my ass of I bought both. See, I was fat, had no real friends, and girls didn't like me, so I bought video games. Still, most kids had only the Genesis, because despite Nintendo having these great titles, most people "couldn't be bothered" with Ultraman, or Sim City, or F-Zero when they were playing Streets of Rage, Sonic the Hedgehog, Madden '92, or what have you, so they stayed with Sega. Sega was winning this round!

In 1991, there was an arcade game that revolutionized the gaming world. Street Fighter 2 was unlike aything anyone had dealt with before, and through shrewd planning, Nintendo got "sole rights" to the title. This was the first time Nintendo had gone this far to get a title under it's control... It made a deal with Capcom that would ensure the death of the Genesis with one game, and both Sega an Capcom felt it. Those who didn't have a SNES begged, borrowed and stole to get one, and SNES sales skyrocketed. Genesis sales went nowhere.

The bottom line is: Games are games. Play them or don't, but if you choose not to, make that choice based on the games, not the console. People on both sides missed good titles because they felt that the "other system" had no good games because they only played Revolution X or Zero Wing.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

There was a BattleToads cartoon

...and it was terrible.

Battletoads has a place in many an elder gamer’s heart as one of the true challenges of 1991. Loathed, revered, and certainly infamous for its difficulty, gorgeous graphics, and surreal finishing attacks, Battletoads was nothing short of a genuine success. My own childhood frustrations aside, Battletoads proved to be a fairly bankable title after its release, spawning a game boy version, an arcade edition, and even a Double Dragon cross over in which the Battletoads have to team up with Billy and Jimmy Lee to take down their now colluding enemies. Needless to say, it was awesome stuff and everybody knew it.

It was only a matter of time before DIC Entertainment, responsible for such childhood hits as The Real Ghostbusters,C.O.P.S., and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures, smelled blood in the water. With the recent successes of both theSuper Mario Brothers Super Show and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series, Battletoads seemed like a top candidate for Fox Kids’ Saturday morning lineup in 1992.

Planned as a prequel to the games, the cartoon was intended to provide a revised origin story for the Battletoads that had been left otherwise unseen outside of the comic books. Unfortunately for DIC, the show was a complete failure. For whatever reasonthe rather absurd tale of three humanoid frogs named after unwanted skin conditions whose hands turn into cinder blocks never struck a chord with, well, anybody. Poorly animated, unfunny, and a little too gross for parents to endorse, the show ultimately floundered. Battletoads never made it past the pilot.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Apple - give us a battery door!

Apple announced that the battery for the iPad will be sealed in so that consumers can’t replace it. Like with the iPhone you’ll have to send your unit to Apple once your battery dies and Apple will charge you $99 to replace the battery, plus you have to pay for shipping and handling.

Apple’s “send your iPhone and iPad to us when your battery dies” policy is the biggest drawback for people attracted to Apple products. Not only do you have to pay Apple’s “battery monopoly” prices, but you also have to go without your iPad for several days. The convenience of owning that cool Apple gadget has just become a lot more inconvenient. Also, by forcing people to send their units back for battery replacements, Apple gives competitors a perfect “unique selling point” to advertise.

Monday, October 4, 2010

First entry

Hello world.
 (programming humor)

So this is my first blogger entry. Stay tuned for more interested posts. I intend to post about tech stuff, and guy stuff in general: movies, video games, TV, gadgetry, etc.

So follow me and you wont be disappointed!